Monday, September 13, 2010

So stick that up ya pipe and smoke it!

Since Flower has been with us we have been using a communication book to let bios know of when, what, how and why ... Mostly been well taken by bios who have said Thank you a few times for what we have done....

Since the bios have been told that they are all heading back to court they have started ripping the pages out of the book. (which I thought at the time is slightly odd )

Since I fractured my foot there have been 2 times I have forgotten to send the comm book and they have jumped up and down because I didn't send it! OK I get that you are use to it but if you really need to say something then put a piece of paper in the bag with it on!

Well today I sent it and updated that she has a been sick etc.....
ONLY to be abused back in the book with BIG CAPITAL LETTER writing as to why we haven't done this or why we have done that?!?!?!

Well I have had it! I am not sending that book anymore! So stick that up ya pipe and smoke it!

(BTW WE HAVE DONE the things they said we didn't or did)

yeh ok I might be a little TOO wound up at the moment~ but I do feel a bit better TO VENT it


Kate said...

Sadly, most birth parents are angry because they believe they've been treated unfairly and the children should be with them. They think that by complaining about us, they make themselves look better as they are the 'concerned and vigilant parents' who recognise the terrible things we are doing.
If Flower's birth parents were reasonable, mature and could recognise their own shortcomings, Flower would be living with them.
Keep doing all the wonderful things you are! {{{hugs}}}
PS I assume you showed the abusive messages to the CWs. They need to see what's been said. When we had similar issues with a communication book, the BPs were told that the book was a privilege and they would only be allowed to have it if their responses were polite.

Gail Underwood Parker said...

Just found your blog while looking for other foster parenting blogs. I agree 1000% with everything Kate said in her comment. Lashing out is the only thing left for some bio parents. Seeing a foster parent do the things well that the parents did not do is often impossible for them to face. Sooo .. lash away they go. I am currently raising the four kids of my first foster daughter and even she sometimes gets a little "lash-y."
Maybe consider photocopying their entries if you can't show them to your case worker. I used to take a pic with my cell phone of such things, just to prove by photo image and date stamp.

Hang in there! You are doing important work that few can [or are willing] to do! Take heart!

Gail Underwood Parker

Janine said...

I've only once had a communication book for a toddler who was seeing her Mum three times a week. It was mostly about eating and sleeping but I added a bit about the little girl's activities to give Mum an idea how a toddler filled in her day. It worked very positively but this Mum had an intellectual disability and was awed by how I took care of her little girl (and still is 15 years later) so didn't send back any defensive or offensive comments.
You know when you're doing a good job - don't let the birth families' responses get you down.

Jen said...

I miss visiting you so much! life has been insane. How are you doin? Hope Flower is still with you???? You are amazing and hopefully one day her birth mother will appreciate you for all you have done and are doing! love ya! Jen xx

Christine said...

Just sad. I feel for you- you have tough decisions to make.