Tuesday, February 24, 2009

And down we go...

Woke this morning with so much "HOPE" for Kagen...

It didn't take long for it all to come crashing down. The first thing he said was I don't want to go to school.

We questioned why he didn't? "O"h he says "I feel sick!"

We gave him a small piece of toast and said "lets just see how you feel in a little bit"

Time to go to school! Doesn't want to go! Wont come out of the house--- Getting him out of the house ---- Wont get in the car ------- Get in the car sits on the floor of the car ----- Get him in his seat --- Get to school and wont get out of car ------Got him out of car!!!

This hasn't been a great start to the day but at least he is AT SCHOOL!!

An hour later the schools sick bay calls. Kagen is sick with a headache. Go to school talk with the principle telling him that I think he is faking and that there are some issues that we need to work out SOON!

I walk into the sickbay say to Kagen lets go. Kagen lets out a "Yeeehaaa" I shoot him a look as if to say sick are you? Drive home Kagen jumps out of car and says "wooohooo home" I inform him that he is HOME because he is sick! You are going to you room with a bucket and will have a sleep! NO TV no DS NO playing with toys!

It is now lunchtime he has come out of his room! Wants lunch! And I know that he isn't sick! So we will have another talk as to what is going on!

What do I do...

I am crying out for help! To his teachers, to the principle of the school where do I turn to next????????????????????????????????


Yondalla said...

It is difficult to get the school to agree to keep them when they are faking it. It might help to have a sit down with the vice principle or someone about the pattern of behavior and ask them to help.

Or not.

cloudmaster said...

Is there a guidance counselor or some other type counselor at the school? If so, they may be able to provide some help and counselling for Kagen......Good luck.

Margaret M said...

Oh Chelley I feel your pain. I got called to school last week because Graeme was having a total tantrum. I had to call him down and leave to go back to work. I knew if I took him home that the next day his tantrum would be twice as hard and twice as long. The hard thing about Graeme is with his speech issues related to the cleft palate, he can't tell me what he is feeling. It is soooo frustrating. did I do the right thing by leaving him at daycare? Who knows? The jury is still out. I'll keep sending warm thoughts Down Under! Hugs!

Terri said...

I have been through that a few times with my older kiddo's.

Kids...you gotta love em!!!

Jen said...

Chel you are doing the best thing you can - you are loving him through his pain. Keep trying to communicate with the 'powers that be' at school and hopefully you'll eventually get your point across. I guess good days and bad days are going to be part of this journey. If you can get him to open up and keep telling him how special he is...I'm sure you're doing it all. all I can really do is pray for you. xxx Jen

Nomes said...

Chell hang in there buddy...there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Kagen really is exploring his sense of who he is in the world and sadly sometimes those we thought were our nearest and dearest do things that make us sad.
Bullying is apinful experience and when he is ready he knows you are his soft place to fall...praying that the principle gets his act together with the school as a whol and really tackles the issues.
Big hugs love Nomes xx

Maggie said...

I have similar issues with Slugger. The only thing that stopped the faking sick was a school that would cooperate with me. The school has got to step up to the plate and solve the bullying issue. There are programs they can conduct in class to teach kids about bullying (what constitutes bullying, how not to be a bully, how to handle bullies, and how to help friends who are being bullied).

I've had to do lots of work with Slugger on how to handle bullies. Slugger is a BIG target for bullies because his buttons are so easily pushed. Right now, Slugger is trying to hang out with different kids and trying to forge some new friendships. One of the best tactics is for him to just go to kids that won't make fun of him. When he's not singled out, the other kids still bully him but not as badly. It's like when all those other kids are looking at them, they lose some steam. Bullies like to have a crowd of friends cheering them on and one singled out kid to pick on. The situation can be defused by other, neutral, kids.

That being said, I would keep after the school about this. Yes, kids will tease each other. But it's heading into extreme territory and they should have no tolerance for that sort of behavior.

OziMum said...

Oh, Chelley. Sounds like its been a horrible couple of weeks, for poor kagen (and you!) Bullying just craps me right off. Harry had some issues early last year - Todd told him to crack the kid!!! It didn't happen!!! I spoke with the principal, on a strategy on how both boys could sort it out. Worked out. That kid actually stayed back in grade one - so Harry doesn't really even have to deal with him at all anymore.

Hope you get a solution soon.

Christine said...

Sounds exactly like what I went through with Jonny--- remember?? Is there any way you can spend time in his class?

Kim said...

Oh listen - I am SO not the person to ask for help. This week has been HELL with me and the school that Noah goes to. I can't deal with it or the "teachers." I know what the issue is and they are STILL ignoring it. I thought they were supposed to be helpful, guess not.

Wishing you more luck!


Andrea said...

You know what I would do????;)

living4him5 said...

I feel so bad for you! This is a tough one for sure. My friend went through this with her little guy. The school was not much help but she reached out to the parents in her son's class (even the bullies parents) and they decided to work it out outside of school. They had a day at the park and let the kids play kind of off to the side as they watched from a distance (they were 8-9 year olds) And wouldn't you know it the bully started to do his work and his parents jumped on it right then and there. Praise God it worked, not right away but over time they learned to be friendly, not friends but decent to each other. I wish I had more advice to share but it's a tough situation. I'll be praying for you!

Hugs from the U.S.