Thursday, February 19, 2009

what hurts the most.....

I don't know where to start.

Kagen has really been out of sorts very angry and just doing really silly naughty things. I keep asking him if there is anything wrong but he says nothing and not wanting to push it too much I leave it.

But it is getting worse and I cant seem to put my finger on the reason why? I again questioned him about it today and pushed it a little more than I would (because I am GETTTING worried)

No answers he said that he wanted to move out of our house and live with his Nanny and Pa "so he doesn't have to go to school"

I pushed it more trying to work out if SCHOOL or HOME is the issue...

Kagen said that he was getting picked on in the playground. I told him to tell these kids to go away and if that didn't work walk away from them. He said they just follow him I then said for him to go to a teacher and tell them what is happening.
To which kagen said that "I wont dob on them and don't want to be one of those kids"

He wont or cant tell me who these kids are.

Kagen also said that his normally best mates don't want to be with him at play time so I don't know if that is part of the issues or just adding to the whole thing.

Kagen told me he finds school work very hard which this is something we are working on with him but waiting to see if this has helped him (waiting for teacher based testing)

We are going to go and talk to his teacher see if there is anything she can see with Kagen that may be a :reason: to all this....

Kagen says he is sad.. He told me he doesn't want to be happy... I question why his only answer is "cause"

At one point he said that he cant help been a bad boy he doesnt know how to stop it...

I sat there listening to him feeling my heart been pulled out of my chest when he told me he didnt wnat to live at home....

I am so worried about him I dont know where to go from here..... Is this a BOY thing? Am I totaly missing something??

This has been so hard to deal with for me as a mother it questions some many things... Oh please tell me this is somethting VERY normal...

7 comments:

cloudmaster said...

I don't think it is common, but it is certainly normal. I think talking to the teacher is the right place to start.

Christine said...

Two of my boys did this. In my opinion you need to keep doing what you are doing and just double check with teachers and other key people in his life. You are an awesome Mom and I am sure this will pass.

MMrussianadoption said...

Do the teachers handle recess or do the aides? If it is the aides out there with them, you might want them in on the conference to ask them to keep an eye out for him and these kids for a few days and to give you feedback. Maybe they can intercept some of the issues. I hate how mean kids can be to one another. I used to get picked on and it affected my whole attitude and really hurt me emotionally. It took me years to come out of my shell. Hang in there.

Also, it never helped me when my parents said to ignore it. The kids never backed down. He needs to sit down with these kids and a mediator. Maybe the school SW or guidance counselor and work out their issues. I wish someone had suggested it to me. And it might be more than one session

Margaret M said...

Chelley,

My wee ones are not yet old enough so I have absolutely no experience with this personnaly. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that it all gets worked out. I would meet with the teacher or principal to try to work something out and to alert them so they can observe the situation and deal with it. Hugs to you from the other side of the Earth!

Anonymous said...

When this happened to my son I told him to just go stand by the yard duty lady and the mean boys wouldn't dare to pester him under her watchful eyes. He never had to tell on them and the problem disappeared when the fun was over. Keep us posted, it is sad.

Nomes said...

Hey Chelley,
Things like this do happen and sadly kids are not able to sort it out and they need us to stand in the gap.Maybe have a private chat with the teacher and even the principle maybe its time the school had discussions about bullying and got pro active that it isnt acceptable to pick on others.Is he able to discuss things with is dad ??Maybe they could have some guy time and maybe Al can have a chatman to man(something about boys and their dads).You might find too that there may have been some teasing about fostering too and he is maybe too shy to say.
Sadly some people are still narrow minded esp when it comes to diversity.
Sending big hugs..Love Nomes xx

living4him5 said...

Oh this hurts my heart. I will be praying for kagen. I don't like bullies! My Linzhi was bullied not too long ago.

Keep us posted!

Big hugs,
Amy