Thursday, June 02, 2011

The words I had hoped not to hear....

Flower is going home....

How I had hoped that I wouldn't hear those words. Don't get me wrong I always knew this could happen but as the days, weeks and months pasted those words were put back deeper into my mind. Until we got word this past Monday.. That Lilly is going home to her parents....

I posted on fb this..." That sick feeling in your stomach when you find out something you didn't want to know, sometimes you have to just walk away, and accept things happen for a reason..even if that reason hurts so bad.............everyone thinks that I am so strong, but I'm not as strong as you think I am. The fact is you just don't realize how close I am to completely falling apart"

I felt so upset so lost so sad so alone.... Then all these msgs of love and emails and phone calls.. And all of sudden I didn't feel so lost, alone there were people to hold me up when I wasn't strong enough to stand alone.

While I know that there ae harder times to come for now for this moment I have stopped crying.....

Time will tell.

Looks like at the moment that they will transitions Flower back to her parents with first her going from her 3 hour visits to all day visits that will happen for a while then they will make them 5 days a week that will happen for a while and then overnights will start... The timeline of all this I have no idea if it will be days, weeks, months.......

2 comments:

Terri said...

I'm so sorry! I can only imagine how sad you are. You have a great difference in that child and the families life forever.
((hugs))

Andrea said...

Im sorry sweety!
I know your hurting. Hard hard part of Foster parenting.
love you!