Flower come back after 6 weeks

Sunday Snap Shot Flower

My sweet sweet foster baby who grew into a wonderful flower..... We had flower from birth and watched her grow.. At two and half years old the powers to be decided it was time for her to try living with her birth family.... Sadly this past week she went home and I have cried a million tears... How I miss my flower.....

My prayer is that she is safe and loved.... Miss you so much Flower....

Flowers first overnight

Is tonight and I feel so sad I keep thinking the little things that I need to get done and how I would work around it with Flower... then it hits she wont be here tonight...


Or what I am going to cook for dinner tonight and how to wokr flowers food intolreance into it ..............then it hits me she wont be here tonight.....

I think how will need to be back at 4 for when flower gets back from access and then its hits me she wont be here tonight...

now I fee like I dont want to be here tonight

17th Oct - Flowers last day..

Starting next week Flower will be no going 5 full days, that will happen for 2 weeks and then it will be overnights twice a week for two weeks then on to weekends and then gone by the 17th Oct.

Bubba GRRRRRRRR

So if you can bare to hear any more read on!

After going back and forth on if I would send Flower with her Bubba I decided that its in Flowers best interest to have it with her! Its hers she loves Bubba.


SO today I sent it along only to get a msg from CW that while dropping off Flower to access the bparents said that the bubba IS NOT WELCOME AT their house AT ALL... That Flower DOES not sleep with Bubba at their house. And that Bubba was broken when we sent it.

(&%^&^%&*^%

Well that makes me want to blow my top you know the STEAM coming out of my ears type blow!

Why you ask? Well bios have photos on their facebook page of Flower ASLEEP hugging Bubba ? They are lying that she doesnt sleep with her! This Bubba isnt there for them its there for Flower and her comfort!?!?!!?!??!! W t ???????????????? How very selfish of these people and how sad for Flower

forgotten......

Flower was forgotten to be picked up from access today....... After waiting for 45 mins I rang office....

no one remembered to pick her up

REALLY how can I trust these people to do their jobs right if they cant remember the simple stuff?????

R u kidding me?

after a requested meeting today was told that....

the next 3 weeks is the do or die of Flowers case.. if they can not pick up theit act (bios) that there will be desion that they will LOOK at stoping the restoration.

what ever happened the other week was enough for them to pull a days worths of access and to make them put in more check -ups. They have said that if they cannot pick up there act in the 3 weeks that its all down hill..

I cant help but think that if they could not get get their act into gear for 2 years then why does this next 3 weeks make a difference? And look if it comes down to it most likely they could DO it for 3 weeks... what about the REST of her life???????????????????

The words I had hoped not to hear....

Flower is going home....

How I had hoped that I wouldn't hear those words. Don't get me wrong I always knew this could happen but as the days, weeks and months pasted those words were put back deeper into my mind. Until we got word this past Monday.. That Lilly is going home to her parents....

I posted on fb this..." That sick feeling in your stomach when you find out something you didn't want to know, sometimes you have to just walk away, and accept things happen for a reason..even if that reason hurts so bad.............everyone thinks that I am so strong, but I'm not as strong as you think I am. The fact is you just don't realize how close I am to completely falling apart"

I felt so upset so lost so sad so alone.... Then all these msgs of love and emails and phone calls.. And all of sudden I didn't feel so lost, alone there were people to hold me up when I wasn't strong enough to stand alone.

While I know that there ae harder times to come for now for this moment I have stopped crying.....

Time will tell.

Looks like at the moment that they will transitions Flower back to her parents with first her going from her 3 hour visits to all day visits that will happen for a while then they will make them 5 days a week that will happen for a while and then overnights will start... The timeline of all this I have no idea if it will be days, weeks, months.......

when to fight when to let go

So what we have done this weekend
taken the issue to the highest people we can

who in turn taking it to the director of dept
the person I spoke to last night says that there are so many errors in Flowers case that
she is really shocked that this whole case is still going....
she doesn't understand why Flower was giving restoration yet other siblings 18 orders? (that makes most of us)



the flaws are starting from the start
is that Flower really should have never got the restoration orders but did
from those orders she SHOULD have been home within 8 months but didn't
case worker did NOT document any of the reports that was needed in year after the orders were made

this and why could not take it back to court to revoke the orders 6 months ago


so they CWs managers that the parents had to do the parenting stuff so they could get the info needed to made a decision

which they have been doing, and while they have not STUFFED this up they have not done a wonderful job either.....


and that my argument the whole time that if the RIGHT things were done then we would not be in the mess now
so I have taken it to the people to get them to take it higher...
I have one person should be calling me Monday (late afternoon) with some outcomes
and then will know more the following Monday....

yeah I am slack - but its DOING MY HEAD IN

I have been so crap at blogging but its really just get away LIFE doesn't it!

First of we are ALL well Kagen and Tiarna started Year 4 this year and it was a very long start to the year with that first few weeks of school taking a while to settle in!

Arliah is loving Year 1 and started the year off well but the last few weeks shes been very cranky after school so not sure if it is SCHOOL or shes just having a long hard day!

Allans work has been busy with lots of time away and training!

I have been offered a full time job at Toy Library were I have been working casual for the last year and half. It is exciting and yet daunting change because of the person I am replacing she is an amazing person and I have VERY big shoes to fill!

The 2nd week in Apr I so to Uni for Resi School a week full of FULL on face to face stuff I am starting to get excited and scared at the same time!!!!

Flower is still here with us and had another day of SLEEP contact today this is like 8 weeks of it and she doesn't sleep there at all! It is driving me batty that they want to keep inflicting this on her but you know! Its the best interest of the child! BULL SHIT

With my new job I need to get some day care for Flower and have emailed and emailed and talked to so many people and still to this point 4 weeks later I do not have any answers... IT IS DOING MY HEAD IN

Regarding Flowers Restoration so far it still all AT ALL GO at the moment even through we have been told that one time shes going home then shes staying then shes going back?????? IT IS DOING MY HEAD IN

The end less shit that happens is just crazy! And getting the stupid comments from the Flowers Birth parents just tips me over the edge. Like for example don't feed Flower bananas because there is MILK in them! Don't give Flower LCM bars they are FULL of nuts?? Not cleaning her bum if she does a poo? Stuffing her food in to her mouth even when she will not open it to the point of making her puke! !!!!! IT IS DOING MY HEAD IN

The fact that Cws never return phone calls or emails regrading things that needed to be sorted! They cant give me any idea what will happen next just that they have until FEB 2012 to have something sorted! IT IS DOING MY HEAD IN

That when you have the manager of CP say I really do not think this will work but we have not got all out ducks in a row to take this to court (other words Flowers CW has not done her job becuase she is a F*(# H#@$%) That we have put Flower through 4 DAYS of access a week TO work out what to do next?????? IT IS DOING MY HEAD IN

Flower has started a new thing at access

since she was born she has been unable, cant or wont sleep at access (it is done in the bios house) Every-time they have tried she screams blue murder and gets so upset....

So they are going to push her access times into her NAP time so they can get her to have a day nap there. I have had to write detailed notes of how to settle her and how I put her down for a sleep.

I am hoping she doesn't come home so upset and wound up that she doesn't sleep that night...

I had to explain that when I packed her food for the day there was not as much in there because she will be there for lunch only... (Bios complain I don't send enough food)

LETS hope Flower sleeps... for her sake...

When Flower came home out of sorts....

She didn't settle well at all lots of screaming and crying...

I heard that bmum took her out of the cot many times before she fell asleep...

then to top it off the contact time ran out so they has to wake her up to bring her home????????????????????????

I am so MAD because even before she left and the day before I SAID that if she isn't awake then let her sleep!?!!?! How hard is it????? Its not rocket science?!?!!?! Flower was ready for bed about 30mins earlier than normal but settled in to bed ok....

That night she was aking with night terrors so many times it was a very long night.

THEN CAME ACCESS number 2
And it was horrid she came home a mess Flower didn't sleep at at all today and screamed and cried would not eat her lunch or drink her bottle.

to add to this putting her down to bed last night she is all a mess and so very unsettled.. I feel so bad for her it hurts. And she is hurting and I do not want this to turn into a huge change in bed time for her because she is getting all upset?
is there anything I can do this really doesn't seem fair on her at all???

Before they started all this she went to bed at nap time and bed time with no hassle at ALL

It has also run into the next sleep and nap time with the same upset little bub...

way to long since a post

I haven't posted for so long because I have felt like life with everything has just not moved..... I hate roller coasters and this feels like a never ending one.

Flowers case is now at a stale mate as the dept feels they do not have ENOUGH paper work to take it to court to revoke the order. So they need to get all reports done NOW (because of slack case work before hand)

Flower is now the crash test baby


As THEY work out what paper work is needed and no idea of what when and how this will all end..

Well there is on date they have to do something at the very least by February 2012 because that is when Flowers orders run out....

TO add to this Flowers bio parents put this article in the paper! Which caused a bad time with the small town gossip asking so many more questions,,,,,,,,,,,

DoCS reneged on deal
to reunite family: dad

By Andrew Robertson

A Broken Hill couple who lost care of their daughter shortly after her birth has accused the Department of Community Services (DoCS) of reneging on an assurance that the family would be reunited this year.

The girl, who is now 14 months old, was removed from her parents soon after she was born and placed in foster care under a court-approved care plan which recommended a two-year restoration period.
But the girl's father said staff from the department's local office told him and the girl's mother they could expect to be reunited with their daughter in 12 months' time, which would have been August 4.
"That never happened," said the father, who does not want the identity of the family revealed.
"They just stuffed us right around and did not give us any indication."
In order to get their child back the parents have to meet a number of requirements, including attending parenting classes and curbing their alcohol use, which the father said they had done.
"We changed our lives, everything's back on track but they're still giving us the big stuff around."
He said the department's only explanation for not returning his daughter has been that she smelled of cigarette smoke after returning from her visits, and that the couple's cats posed a risk.
Shortly after she was removed from their care the couple had unsupervised access but the father said after 12 months that suddenly changed. Now they are allowed to see her three days a week for three hours during supervised visits.
He said they had spent about $7,000 on equipment and clothing for the child which was never used and has since been given to a neighbour.
The father said his daughter was removed because he and his partner were going through a "rough patch" which involved weekend drinking sessions when they would get into arguments with each other.
He said the alcohol had a serious effect on the girl's mother who takes medication for epilepsy.
"She was having seizures."
He said his daughter was never in danger of being physically harmed.
"But now we don't drink at all."
He said he and his partner, who have a second, older child who is also in foster care, were now "100 per cent capable" of caring for their children.
In a statement DoCS said the safety of the child had to be its priority.
"Community Services understands that these parents are looking forward to having their daughter returned to their care and are working towards making changes to their lives or this to happen," they said.
"In all cases, however, the wellbeing of the child must come first and our role is to ensure birth parents are in a position to safely care for their child before a restoration takes place.
"While the restoration of this little girl is proceeding, the process has been delayed because the parents are not yet at a point where their child can be returned safely."
The department said the parents are dealing with a number of complex issues that have contributed to the decision to delay the restoration.
"The process has not been delayed simply based on the reasons given to the newspaper."

So stick that up ya pipe and smoke it!

Since Flower has been with us we have been using a communication book to let bios know of when, what, how and why ... Mostly been well taken by bios who have said Thank you a few times for what we have done....

Since the bios have been told that they are all heading back to court they have started ripping the pages out of the book. (which I thought at the time is slightly odd )

Since I fractured my foot there have been 2 times I have forgotten to send the comm book and they have jumped up and down because I didn't send it! OK I get that you are use to it but if you really need to say something then put a piece of paper in the bag with it on!

Well today I sent it and updated that she has a been sick etc.....
ONLY to be abused back in the book with BIG CAPITAL LETTER writing as to why we haven't done this or why we have done that?!?!?!

Well I have had it! I am not sending that book anymore! So stick that up ya pipe and smoke it!

(BTW WE HAVE DONE the things they said we didn't or did)

yeh ok I might be a little TOO wound up at the moment~ but I do feel a bit better TO VENT it

Hey two posts in one week!

Nothing like a sore foot to SLOW you down!


Life seems was running faster than I was! Flower has was in hospital overnight due to a very high temp! The first doctor looked in her ears but found nothing then an hour later another doctor looked in and said she has a bad ear infection! Flower was given medication and sent home the next day!

That same afternoon we picked up Flowers older sister who I will call "Lolly".
Lolly came for the weekend to have some bonding time with Flower. Lolly is 3 years old and is a sweetie! But Lolly bought some friends with her "NITS" It wasn't a small town it was a thriving city! I spent an hour of finely combing her hair with the products and nit combs! No word of a lie I got upwards of 300 nits out of her hair!

Saturday morning I was running out to the car to get my handbag out! And jumped off my front step (instead of walking down them) Landed on my ankle that rolled and then I heard a POP! Ahhhgggg WAS so painful.... I felt like I was going to pass out! Off to the hospital we headed!

The news was
Torn ligament off my heal bone week in cast then back for a check up!
LIFE is never boring!

Poor AL 5 kids and a wife on crutches! Thankfully all the older kids got right in and helped out! VERY proud of all of them!

Lolly was great to have here and looks like we will be doing this ever other weekend. Lolly is more than welcome as long as we don't have her friends bacK :P
Arliah and Lolly spent most of the weekend playing together happily.

Having the next week off work I am going to find some "ME" time to catch up on some "blog time"!

May is almost over? Wow How did that happen?

It has been crazy busy here!

Study study study work work work and 4 kids oi oi oi oi! Really I feel like some days I am just chasing my tail!

I went to Sydney for a workshop for my study! Left home at 3am Friday got on the bus from hell, 30 drunk smelly UNI students who just wanted to chat and fart and get me intoxicated by the fumes they were letting off! Arriving in Sydney at almost 10pm Friday night! Met by Amber who looked out for me! Spent two full days in workshops and was tested AND PASSED! Out to dinner the Saturday night with new old friends! And back in the train home at 6am Monday and getting home at 8pm Monday night to my kids who missed me like CRAZY~

Flower is still here and still going to access 3 times a week for 3 hours at a time. We are waiting on word to see what will be the next step up or down from here but I have gone into more of that on my foster blog..

Oh and I got a tattoo! They were having a fundraiser here and the tattoo artist wanted to tattoo 65 roses for cystic fibrosis day! So I rang and joined in! All the money is going to a GREAT GREAT cause and after reading the following blogs for a while now I thought WHY NOT!

A LONG restoration...

Had the meeting with CWs today to get updated from what happened in court!

A LONG restoration is what has been handed down by the courts.

so access will increase by an extra hour each visit. Then they will review that in 8 weeks if all goes well they want to add another day to access.

None of these will be unsupervised YET they will need to show over the next 4 months that they are coping with this level of access. From there they will look into 5-6 access with part of the time supervised. Keeping working up until its goes to an overnight visit etc...

IF ALL GOES TO PLAN AND IT ALL WORKS OUT the minimum amount of time Flower will be here is 12 months from now.

If this is it!

And I'm so scared I might forget,
Just don't want this to end just yet,

Not just yet.

But if I had one chance to freeze time
And stand still and soak in everything,
I'd choose right now.
And if I had one night with sunshine to break through and show you everything,
I'd choose right now,

And if I could stop time so she would be mine... But alas that isn't going to happen!


Flowers court date is on Friday! We will know what is going to happen with her! From what I can understand it is about 90% chance that she will go home to her birth parents..


Restoration.... over a pre set time frame




first they will make access 3 hours 3 times a week
for set time

then they will do the 4 visits per week for a set time

if that works then they will do a whole day on a weekend (I think)

THEN if that is all going well they will look at one overnight once week...

I really don't know what time frame they want to do all this over so if this plan gets approved then I guess we will find out!


Please keep Flower and my family and me in ya prayers to stay strong.. And to have peace with what the courts decide...

I got my Christmas Wish......

Flower will be with us
till at LEAST February!!! After that we are still waiting on what will come. We are hearing that restoration to bio parents is most likely the plan.

Court was adjourned

Till I think next week... I think because CW was really out of it when I spoke to her on the phone... (think she was having a tough day)

but a report that they were waiting on needs more time for all parties to read though it hence the delay......


SO we wait some more..

I have found some peace on the thought of her going home...

Already in a knot....

I had my first lil tear today..

Flowers case goes to court next week....

they are doing all the court appointed assessments this week... I have been told by CWs that bios having been preparing themselves for them...





I have been ok about it till today....... while I was putting her to bed it came over me that it could be only a few short weeks and she could be going home....

Who knows what the courts will say... Lets hope and pray that make the right decisions what ever it is.....