Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Panic attacks are H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E.

In my new job I look after people with disabilities who live in grope homes. In our area there are 6 homes with 2-5 people in each home. I have been doing a shift in a new each day.. So on top of getting to know my job I felt like I had been throw into the deep end with no floaties

Today was REALLY horrible! I was at work and about 2 hours into my 4th day ay my new job! And I had a full blown panic attack! Nothing was working I couldn't calm my self. I told the girl (I was shadow shifting)That I need to get out of there.

I came home and just bawled my eyes out! I called Al at work and told him what was happening. Deciding the best idea was to call my boss and talk.


I told my boss how overwhelmed I was feeling about the job and how I felt going from one house to the next house to the next I was really feeling like I couldn't cope it was too much to take in and that if I was excepted to work by my self after these few shifts I didn't think I would be able to be the right person for the job...

My boss was so very understanding. She her self has had panic attacks before and she has only been in her job only 2 months so knows very well how overwhelmed I am feeling.

After talking my boss and I have decided that I will only work in two house's until I get a feel for the job... And that I would do more shadow shifts....

That I have attacks I know they are no where as bad as they use to be! Days like today bring it all back down to earth...

I need to get back up again.

Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of You might bend, till you break Cause its all you can take On your knees you look up Decide you've had enough You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off Then you Stand



8 comments:

Janine said...

Hang in there. It sounds like an overwhelming job and it takes time to adjust...I'm sure in a week or two you'll have a smile on your face and be feeling on top of things.

tubaville said...

As you know, I can utterly relate. Panic attacks are horrible. I am in deep admiration for you and your job though. You are doing something miraculous every day. Someday my daughter will be in a group home so I have total respect for folks that work in them. I'm glad your supervisor understood. Your work is not easy, that is for sure. Hang in there.

Margaret M said...

Thinking of you. i have never experienced a panic attack first hand but have been with my Mom when she has them. Do all you can to prevent! I am glad your supervisor is understanding~!

Fliss and Mike Adventures said...

Hugs to ya...
Just remember to breathe... and I do think that it is a good idea that you take one house at a time and get the feel of the job until you feel comfortable enough to be thrown in the deep end...
Soon you will be an expert and you will be telling all the rookies coming in behind you how to cope with panic attacks...
Take care

OziMum said...

Oh no! Sounds horrible! I know that feeling "no control" is so overwhelming. I hope that it doesn't happen again.

Geez I admire you! I think you're amazing just "considering" taking on that kind of job!!!! I know there is NO WAY I could cope with that. For what its worth...
YOU ARE A LEGEND!

living4him5 said...

Praying for you girl!! My sister has suffered from panic attacks so I know how terrifing they can be. Take it easy, one step and one breath at a time.

Hugs,
Amy

MMrussianadoption said...

wow, sorry to hear you are having panic attacks, but great news on the new school for the kids. as you can tell, I am falling behind in my blog reading. hope your job gets easier.

Andrea said...

how is the job going?